Vasectomy | Why I got Snipped by Michael Mcintyre
A FEW YEARS AGO, I NEVER WOULD’VE IMAGINED SAYING THE WORDS, “I’M DONE HAVING KIDS,” OR, I’M GETTING A VASECTOMY. WHILE STRUGGLING WITH INFERTILITY FOR OVER THREE YEARS, MY WIFE AND I HOPED AND PRAYER FOR MORE CHILDREN. IT WAS A TIME WHEN OUR FAITH WAS TESTED AND VISITS WITH A THERAPIST WERE A REAL THING. WATCHING HER STRUGGLE EVERY MONTH TOOK A TOLL ON BOTH OF US BUT I CAN’T IMAGINE THE PAIN SHE WENT THROUGH.
THE STORY HAS BEEN TOLD A MILLION TIMES: YOU STRUGGLE WITH INFERTILITY, YOU ADOPT, THEN YOU GET PREGNANT. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED WITH US: SO AFTER 3 BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTERS AND AN ADOPTED SON, WE WENT BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD TO REEVALUATE WHAT WE WANTED OUR FAMILY TO LOOK LIKE. ONE MORE SON WOULD’VE BEEN AMAZING BUT THE ODDS HAVE NOT BEEN IN MY FAVOR.
AT THE TIME, WE DIDN’T KNOW THIS WOULD COMPLETE OUR FAMILY.
AFTER WATCHING MY WIFE GIVE BIRTH TO 3 BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRLS, I WOULD NEVER EVEN FIX MY MOUTH TO ASK, “CAN HAVE YOUR TUBES TIED?” IT’S NEVER BEEN A QUESTION FOR ME IF I WOULD BE THE ONE TO “TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM” AND GET A VASECTOMY. IT WAS SEAMLESS AND ALMOST PAINLESS. WELL, I MAY BE OVER EXAGGERATING JUST A LITTLE. BUT IT’S MUCH EASIER FOR ME TO HAVE THE VASECTOMY THAN IT IS FOR HER TO HAVE A PROCEDURE (MENTALLY, DOWN TIME, PAIN, ETC.).
PRE-PROCEDURE
1. SCHEDULE A CONSULTATION WITH YOUR UROLOGIST. ASK AROUND AND DO YOUR RESEARCH TO FIND THE BEST IN YOUR AREA AND DON’T BE EMBARRASSED BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE MEN OUT THERE WHO HAVE HAD A VASECTOMY THAN YOU THINK.
2. THE UROLOGIST WILL SCHEDULE THE PROCEDURE TYPICALLY ON A FRIDAY. THIS WAY YOU CAN REST OVER THE WEEKEND AND GET BACK TO WORK BY MONDAY.
3. IT’S A NON INVASIVE PROCEDURE SO IT WILL BE DONE IN THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE, NOT A HOSPITAL.
PROCEDURE DAY
THEY GIVE YOU THE OPTION OF ANESTHESIA, BUT BELIEVE ME, THAT’S NOT NECESSARY. THEY ALSO PRESCRIBE VALIUM. I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU. BECAUSE OF MY NERVES, I TOOK ONE AND I WISH I DIDN’T BECAUSE THE ONLY THING IT DID FOR ME WAS MAKE ME LOOPY (CHECK OUT OUR YOUTUBE “VASECTOMY” VLOG HTTPS://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/WATCH?V=HO4NP7L1C9A). MAKE SURE YOU WEAR SOMETHING COMFORTABLE AND A GOOD JOCK STRAP OR SOME SNUG BRIEFS TO KEEP YOU TESTICLE FROM HANGING.
VASECTOMY PROCEDURE
AFTER LOCAL ANESTHESIA, THE UROLOGIST WILL MAKE A SMALL INCISION ON TOP OF YOUR SCROTUM. HE WILL THEN GRAB THE VAS DEFERENS (THIS IS WHEN YOU WILL FEEL THE MOST DISCOMFORT, MOSTLY IN YOUR LOWER ABDOMEN). HE WILL THEN CUT, TIE OR SOLDER THE VAS DEFERENS. THE LAST STEP IS TO SEW UP THE INCISION WITH A COUPLE OF DISSOLVABLE STITCHES. ONCE THAT IS COMPLETE, HE WILL PERFORM THE SAME PROCEDURE ON THE OPPOSITE SCROTUM AND JUST LIKE THAT, WITHIN 15 MINUTES, YOU’RE WALKING OUT OF THE OFFICE TO GO REST AT HOME.
POST- VASECTOMY PROCEDURE
ICE, ICE, ICE (4 TO 7 TIMES A DAY), REST, REST, REST (ALL DAY) FOR AT LEAST THE FIRST 3 DAYS. THIS IS THE TIME YOU REALLY TAKE THE DOCTORS ADVICE. I SAY THIS BECAUSE IF YOU’RE LIKE ME, YOU FEEL THAT DOCTORS DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT. I’VE SPOKE TO OTHER MEN WHO FELT THEY WERE READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD AFTER A FEW DAYS BECAUSE THEY “FELT BETTER,” AND BOY DID THEY PAY. REFRAIN FROM LIFTING MORE THAN 20 POUNDS FOR THE FIRST WEEK. AFTER THE FIRST WEEK, EASE YOUR WAY BACK INTO YOUR NORMAL EXERCISE ROUTINE AND BY WEEK 2, IT’S “GO” TIME.
EVERY MAN WANTS TO KNOW HOW LONG THEY WILL BE OUT OF COMMISSION (NO SEX). 1 WEEK IS WHAT’S RECOMMENDED. BUT HERE IS THE THING. YOU STILL HAVE TO USE BIRTH CONTROL. TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE, MY UROLOGIST RECOMMENDS 3 MONTHS “AND” 30 EJACULATIONS. AT MONTH 3, YOU SUBMIT A SAMPLE WHICH HE WILL PERFORM A TEST TO MAKE SURE THERE IS NO ACTIVE SPERM. ONCE YOU GET THE “OK,” THROW THOSE CONDOMS AWAY 😁.
EFFECTS
GETTING A VASECTOMY DOES NOT HAVE ANY AFFECT ON A MANS ERECTIONS, ORGASMS, SEX DRIVE OR TESTOSTERONE LEVEL. THE ONLY THING IT DOES IS CUT OFF THE SPERM SUPPLY FROM THE SEMEN. IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A MAN. IT ACTUALLY MAKES YOU MORE OF A MAN FOR STEPPING UP FOR YOUR WIFE AND NOT PUTTING HER THROUGH ANY MORE PAIN THAN WHAT SHE’S ALREADY BEEN THROUGH.
IF YOU’RE ON THE MARKET FOR A VASECTOMY, I HOPE THIS BLOG GIVES YOU THE COMFORT OF KNOWING ITS THE BETTER DECISION FOR A MARRIED COUPLE. THANKS FOR READING, PLEASE CHECK OUT MY OTHER BLOG POST ON THE TRUTH ABOUT SEX IN MARRIAGE.